The Inconvenient Fruit

As far as healthy eating goes, fruit is my greatest failure. I’m not a fussy eater, as you might think from that sentence – the reality is far more ridiculous.

Texture. Sluggish food. Not the antithesis of fast food but rather more slug-like. Oysters for example. Food of over-ripeness. Nails-down-a-blackboard type food that starts with a shudder and is followed by a gag and coughing fit. More often than not, texture will be the problem, not taste.

Fruit has a two day window of perfect texture-ness. Bananas are green, then palatable for two days, then only cake-able. Most other fruit fall into one of three categories – edible, meh and rotten. Biting into meh or rotten fruit can put me off the fruit for months.

Also, I’m lazy.

Due to the texture issue, I like to know what I’m getting myself into. To find out if the fruit’s texture is good, first I have to cut the fruit open. ARGH! The pain of time. I’ll have to pick up that knife and cut into the fruit to test it. Groan, faint, meh. I’ll have to wash the knife afterwards. Groan, faint, meh. As to mandarins that you’ll have to PEEL with your fingers so they smell like mandarins for the rest of the day? You’ve gotta be kidding me.

This is why I buy fruit juice.

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