‘Don’t You Dare Blog About That’, and Other Things My Husband Has Said

Five minutes into an hour long walk.

HUSBAND: Ew, Kate. You might want to fix your nose.

ME: Oh God, really?

We’d just walked past two people and I’d smiled at them complete with nose chandelier.

ME: Did that get it?

HUSBAND: Uh, no.

ME: What? But I can’t feel anything there! If I can’t feel it, how can I find it? I’m flying blind!

HUSBAND: I’m not getting it for you.

ME: Has that fixed it?

HUSBAND: Go like this *demonstrates on his own nose*

ME: Better?

HUSBAND: Yep.

ME: I bet there was nothing there. It was probably just dry skin or something.

HUSBAND: Wrong colour.

ME: Gross.

Five minutes later.

ME: What do you mean you wouldn’t get it for me?

HUSBAND: What do you mean ‘flying blind’? It’s hardly an aeronautical manoeuvre.

ME: You’re missing my point.

Five minutes more.

ME: You realise this means you haven’t looked at me all morning.

HUSBAND: *Sighs*

Nostril of time

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9 thoughts on “‘Don’t You Dare Blog About That’, and Other Things My Husband Has Said

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