I’m struggling with blog posts at the moment. So to turn this negative into a positive, I thought I’d ponder a few reasons why.
The first is,
sometimes often I use this blog for thinking. I worry that those thoughts, no matter how tame, will offend someone. I don’t want to offend people, it petrifies me. So I hold back and keep countless half-done posts in drafts. I think, and I over think and I probably I overestimate how much people even care what I think. But still, I really don’t want to offend anyone and I guess that feeling dominates.
Another category is length. I have length standards. I feel like I ought to write an eleven paragraph essay, even if I’m writing about a weird bruise that appeared on top of my finger. It’s the size of a pea and I thought it was an ink smudge but when I rubbed it, it hurt! How do you get a pin-point bruise on your finger and not remember? See? BAM! It’s over, that’s all there is – case in point. The bigger question is, how will you learn of these extraordinary snippets of my life if I set myself a word count? I feel this even though I follow, read and enjoy blogs of all shapes and sizes (although, admittedly, if you’re one of those people who regularly writes a long post and you throw in a short one, I do feel a little disappointed; it’s all over too quickly).
Kind of related to that last point – at times, I take this all too seriously. I seek perfection in how I convey my thoughts, and much like I snob ideas in my fiction writing – I’m a snob here too. I mean, who’d want to hear about the bruise on my finger? But I’ve got to keep reminding myself, it’s not about whether you guys read this or not, it’s about whether I write it.
So, on the note of seriousness. Pixies. Pixies prevent me from writing posts. They’re destructive little critters and they eat my words. No. Wait. That was the dog. No, wait. I don’t have a dog. It was the cat. Ha. Who am I kidding? The cat doesn’t care.
On a dull note, and this will be dull (the pixies aren’t coming back). I do go on about my writerly struggles – a lot. My imposter syndrome, and my lack of writerly self-worth, and the voices of criticism that create my self-doubt. I write about this more than I let you read about it. When I post this type of thing it’s because I need to and all I can do is thank you for listening and understanding. When I don’t, it’s because I have a genuine fear of boring you all with my dull, repetitive insecurities.
Okay. So we are down to this point. Well done for coming this far. So, here’s a question – can you remember what this post is about? Reminder – I’m listing the reasons why I’m struggling to write blog posts. This point is about procrastination. It should be no surprise as it’s in my blog title, but people dismiss this a little too readily (especially those with an awesome, enviable sense of determination and self-motivation). I don’t exaggerate when I say ‘procrastination is an art form’. When I first told a friend I considered starting a blog, she actually suggested procrastination as my focus. I procrastinate doing things I enjoy doing for fear of screwing them up. Writing is one of them, although at times blog writing is also a tool I use to procrastinate when I’m really trying to write. It’s ever so complex. *dramatically faints with hand against forehead*
When you struggle with blog posts, what’s your excuse?