A Series of Improbable Events

ec956fa1f47a4dc2189a39a73444ac0aThis’ll be a short post today. Just a silly little anecdote that my husband didn’t find so amusing.

You know how some events are impossible to replicate? Like that time your friend shoots a ball of paper into the basket and it’s an absolutely lousy shot but it hits three things in the room and ends up in the basket anyway. Or a fork gets knocked off a plate and a little piece of cake flies into the air ends up in someone’s cup of tea. You could try and repeat it but you just know it’s useless because the biggest variable is the accident – you didn’t mean to do it.

I am talking about that kind of event.

We’d just finished dinner and feeling replete, I moved to a comfy chair with a full glass of red wine. I sat my wine on the magazine stacked side table. OK, so this was slightly lazy, I usually do get a proper drinks’ coaster and if I had, perhaps I would have realised what looked like a flat surface tilted my glass like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. With a two second delay it… Well, you can probably imagine.

Except the accident-stars aligned.

I’d placed the glass in just the right spot, at just the right height with the magazines tilted at just the right angle for the glass to elegantly topple with pike headlong towards a pair of my husband’s shoes.  Not only did the glass not break, but his shoe (just the one) filled with red wine. Barely a splash of it touched the carpet or the furniture and contained itself almost exclusively within the shoe’s cosy plush lining.

In a funny, odd, inappropriate kind of way, I found this quite amusing. Cleanup involved not much more than carrying the shoe into the kitchen and pouring the contents into the sink. Which is a slight exageration because I also crammed his shoe full of absorbent paper and stood in it for a few minutes before filling it up with bicarb. But that image spoils the story.

I would have taken a photo but my husband wasn’t finding it quite so hilarious. He did a lot of huffing about, worried he’d end up with one red-tinted shoe that constantly eminated a nose of wine.

Do you have an improbable event? Please share.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “A Series of Improbable Events

  1. Well. It’s not as impressive as your ‘red wine in the shoe’ trick, but yesterday I was crouched down, tying my shoelace, when I lost my balance. This isn’t an unusual thing – I can trip over shadows on the floor – but on this occasion I managed to fall over in such a way that I did a somersault in the air and landed back on my knees again.

    My husband, when he finished laughing, just about managed to tell me I should think about giving up the writing and becoming a break-dancer instead. I told him he wasn’t funny at all and stalked off in a huff to soothe my bruised ego.

    My ‘improbable events’ always involve falling over. I’m absolutely notorious. It’s like I was born without an inner ear, or something.

    • I like it how you call my ‘wine in the shoe’ thing a trick. It has the implication of cleverness whereas really, I got up out of my chair half expecting the situation to resemble a murder scene.

      And I think your trick is very impressive indeed. Rather than stalking off in a huff, you should have thrown your arms wide and said ‘Ta Da!’ 😀

      • 😀 I only wish I’d thought of that!

        But – having said that – if I *had* thrown my arms wide, I’d probably have taken someone’s eye out.

        I must write a blog post about all my famous falls, one of these days… 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s